Is it just me? Am I alone in feeling some sort of mid-season Apprentice malaise? I’m not sure I care as much as I did, and tonight’s show did seem a trifle dull. Maybe I’m doing a disservice to Margate, but a jaunt to somewhere sunny, like Morocco, would have cheered me up, and lifted the spirits of the contestants too. Until now, all I knew of Margate, came from tales of Londoners and skinheads going off for a day out. Notably, the lyrics to Chas’n'Dave’s song for the seaside resort are very appropriate.
#Well I’ve been working hard to reach me target
To earn a few bob for a day trip down to Margate
I’m gonna blow the lot tomorrow on all me family
We catch the coach at eight, so don’t be late, were off to see the sea#
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGa7f6n3aqk
As for the task, I don’t think anyone could put it more succinctly than this perfect piece of prose.
#You can keep the Costa Brava, and all that palava, I’m telling you mate I’d rather have a day down Margate with all me family#
This will go down as the week when that last of the non-runners was finally jettisoned, albeit several weeks later than expected. Sir Alan took the opportunity, as soon as it was presented to him, despite there being several pitiful performances on the losing team.
The Task: To rebrand the seaside town of Margate, in a bid to return the resort to some semblance of its former glory. This week’s teams were; Ignite – Yasmina (PM), Ben, Kate, Lorraine and for Empire – Debra (PM), Mona, Howard and James. I’m not sure of the stats, but I am positive the Ignite members have been considerable more successful so far. True to form, Ignite decided upon a relatively safe, predictable, but proficient approach to marketing Margate. Their plans were low on inspiration, but they set about it very professionally. At Empire, Debra’s leadership was brokered with Howard, on the basis that he had artistic direction over the project. James suggested the re-invention of Margate as a gay resort, to rival the likes of Brighton, and Howard was more than keen to pursue it. The flies in the ointment, however, were that Mona seemed incapable of relating to the theme, and Debra had responsibility for the design, text and layout of the promotional material. As Mona later admitted on “You’re Fired” neither has a creative bone in their bodies. Despite this, both presentations to marketing experts, and then to local residents and dignitaries, went very smoothly. Kate for Ignite and Howard for Empire both performed well. However, Debra was caught in a lie, when asked why their leaflet was unfinished.
The Boardroom: The results were given quickly – 7/10 for Ignite, for an uninspired but slick marketing plan, and 4/10 for Empire’s woeful efforts, based largely on the amateur production of promotional material, and a gay rebranding that lacked conviction. James looked as crestfallen as it’s possible for a grown man to be, when heard that the winners would be rewarded with a day racing Lotus sports cars on the track. Wisely, Debra gave Howard, a pass, and decided to bring back James and Mona for the ritual grilling at the big table. Despite Debra getting lippy with Sir Alan, and James being described as “some knucklehead”, the music was cued, the big man mustered a forgettable bon mot, and uttered the inevitable “Mona, you’re fired”
What did you learn Dorothy? (quoting The Wizard of Oz is very gay): If viewers are flagging a little, think of the contestants. It’s vital to maintain your energy levels, and continually maintain your motivation. At this stage, no-one can hide. Always ensure you’ve done enough to keep your spot, even in a losing team. Lastly, professional and safe is almost always better than amateur and inspired. Skilled execution of a plan is paramount.
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