Week 3 is traditionally when we get to find out more about the personalities of our erstwhile contenders, and this week certainly didn’t disappoint. Sadly, the most we have heard from tonight’s redundancy statistic, Majid, came after he was fired, on You’re Fired with Adrian Chiles. The man with the most eccentric beard on UK telly, turns out to be three dimensional after all, but not nearly as desperate to win as the others.
The Task: To design, create and pitch a new piece of portable exercise equipment. Once produced, they would shoot a poster, and present it to 3 retail chains specialising in this field. Straightaway, Sir Alan changes the teams around, so it’s no longer boys versus girls. The team with the fewer numbers sits down to decide upon a Project Manager – a job that James volunteers for immediately, as he wants to prove himself to the big man. This is a common occurrence, in business as well as The Apprentice, where someone jeopardises their position, in order to restore their credibility, by taking on a project too eagerly. Big mistake. There is a time to stand up, and a time to sit down. For Debra, this was the right time to stand up, as she has been too mouthy to work under others, and needed to lead from the front this week.
Not one to censor his inner-voice, Ben immediately sets his stall out as the ideas man. His idea? Exercise equipment that doubles as a sex toy! To his eternal credit, James heard him out, and then dismissed the stupid idea, rather than placate Ben in a fake way. That said, killing his only idea left Ben bereft of inspiration, but still in charge of design. The resultant black box resembled a guitar amplifier, which performed all the exercise functions of …..well a box. By contrast, Debra’s team, with inspiration and persistence from Phillip, produced something so sexy and stylish, it could have been designed by Apple, and featured in the Jetsons. Going by the unused gear I have in the cupboard, I’d certainly be seduced into buying it. From this point on, the pitch and poster could be dreadful, and they would still be runaway winners. The pitch was indeed foul, thanks to Lorraine, but was saved by Debra actually asking for the sale. Excellent. The poster, thanks to some misplaced PC thinking from Debra, featured Mona and Noorul. While the girls were debating this, he was made to feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. By contrast, the response from the experts to the pitch for the black box was one of sheer disbelief.
The Boardroom: Two of the three buyers opted to order none of the “Bingo Basher”, whilst John Lewis’s strangely ordered 500 of them. Perhaps they had some doors that needed jammed open. Again John Lewis were in a buying mood with the Body Rocker, and ask for 10,000 and exclusivity. So Ignite head for a private concert with Catherine Jenkins, and Empire head for the greasy cafe. Cue the staged bun-fight, which mostly features James, Majid, Ben and briefly Howard, who survives along with Kate and Kimberley. What did those three actually contribute? Perhaps it’s the editing, but the benefits of keeping your own counsel are evident here. So who is to blame from the final three in the boardroom? James did project manage this catastrophe, and allowed Ben to produce such an inept product. Was he deliberately setting up Ben, or abdicating his responsibility? At this point, the contribution from each must be weighed, and Majid was found wanting. He hadn’t fought to be an active member of the team, and made little effort to save himself when the chips were down. No begging, no pleading, no promising to be the PM next week (that’s usually a winner). The choice was easy for Sir Alan, the beard wearing association was no help, and he was made to disappear. Now that’s Majid!
So what did you learn Dorothy? : As a Project Leader, always involve everyone in the task, so that you have the best opportunity to succeed, and they have an equal opportunity to take the blame. Ensure you match the remit of the task, and know your product. Prepare for the boardroom, and be prepared to fight for your place. Always be closing – ask for the sale.
Top contender so far: Phillip Taylor
They have to pitch for lunchtime business in top City firms, and create appetizing new menus for a prestigious canapé reception which must be executed to perfection. As well as sourcing the ingredients, the teams must make, deliver and serve all the food themselves. But with hungry mouths to feed and picky clients in tow, it is not long before things go wrong in the kitchen and in the boardroom.
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