The Apprentice Blog

Written by SugarDaddy

OK, so let’s get the crowing out of the way first. I happened to call the first firing correctly. But let’s face it, all I had to go on was a very brief CV, and some tell-tale personal statements. It would be ridiculous to make such an important decision in real life, based upon so little information wouldn’t it? Even Sir Alan waits to see the result of the task, and allows them to state their case. However, many similar recruiting decisions are made every day by employers and recruiters, HR professionals and line-managers. People who should know better, and those who have never been taught the difference.

The Task – To generate the most profit from a day of cleaning activities. Note in particular the word “profit”. This was not a sales contest. The winner of this task would be the team with the biggest number between sales and costs. This is fundamental to all tasks in The Apprentice – Always stick to the brief. Any deviation is reason enough to get fired, and taking the initiative is very risky. This may sound sexist, but I believe this task favoured the guys, who are likely to have a little more car washing experience. They certainly seemed to have better knowledge of what materials they would need, and knew how to operate a pressure washer. Perhaps the women could have targeted another sector, offices, car showrooms, store fronts?

So the women firstly chose the name Ignite, and then had a game of chicken over who would be the first Project Manager. Mona blinked first, and tried to encourage others to take it, whereupon their silence forced her into a corner. She did then try to claim the credit for taking that risk, as did Howard, in the boy’s team (modestly named Empire). If the others were relieved, they weren’t about to concede brownie points at this stage. It may be down to creative editing, but neither team was shown doing much planning, costing and delegating. What was shown, was Anita successfully coming in under the maximum £200 spend allowed for materials, and Phillip conjuring up a sale, seemingly from nowhere. The director gave the game away at that point. Before setting off, Howard instructed his car wash team not to get involved in interior cleaning, as it would slow them down too much. That instruction was soon forgotten, but would have been recalled just as quickly if the boys had lost. NB. Why was the team leader with the smaller group of men? As per their remit, Margaret and Nick then scowled and rolled their eyes throughout, whilst “stating the bleedin’ obvious”, as Basil Fawlty might have said. Cue comedy moments such as Mona arguing with a client, Anita with a hose, and Kate, or is it Heather McCartney, talking out of the side of her mouth.

The Boardroom: Long story short, the boys sold less, but spent much less, and therefore won with a profit of £239. The “prize” was to watch 2 guys mixing drinks in a big penthouse. Standard fare for aspiring millionaires. Once those who had kept beneath the radar had been excused, we had the leader, the villain, and the fall-guy, in the shape of Mona, Debra and Anita respectively.

The Denouement: Actually, because we weren’t that invested in the characters, the theatrics from Sir Alan were redundant. Sir Alan likes a fighter, and when a candidate admits fault so easily, he has no option but to let them go. Anita wasn’t too honest. She was too meek.